#46619 - 08/04/10 02:36 AM
Where's my Mojo? or How to fight summer blahs?
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Sextified
enthusiast
Registered: 08/18/08
Posts: 367
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Since the forum is so slow right now I thought this is a appropriate topic. This can take a sexual slant or not.
Usually I get depressed in the spring every year. This time I was just too busy to even take notice. Now I feel so out of sorts I can't even remember if I was!
Lots of big long overdue projects tackled and done. Still a few left. Both planned and unforseen family out of town obligations. Vehicles draining money out of my accounts faster than I can replace cash. Best friend is off somewhere restarting her life and leaving all of her old cronies behind. Current/Ex girlfriend more than happy to not have ANYTHING remotely resembling sex or intimacy. Work laying off another 15% of the staff and uncertainty about my industry rampant.
That's not meant to be a sad sob story. I've been in worse spots, recently and in the past, and handled it better.
I guess I want to know how you guys are feeling, and if your down, what snaps you back out of it?
Has the economy, political turmoil and social upheavel produced a numbing sense of fatigue and apathy in us all? Is it like the middle of the Great Depression? Or will we feel like that soon?
I'm very thankful I still have a job. Health will hopefully slowly improve. I still have a roof over my head and food for the cats.
All the hard work I've done has essentially allowed me, and a lot of people, to tread water. That's hard to take, especially when more such strenuos efforts will be needed to hold ground over the last half of the year.
So, how do you guys feel, and deal, with the blues?
I'm trying to keep my house neat, and not let the chores build up too bad. Exercising a bit. Trying to stay interested in porn. Looking for some freelance work. Planning my next steps for my small side businesses, even though I don't have the drive to actually do much yet. But that will help when I feel better.
The Trilogy, specifically the last quarter of Book II, is going well. But I feel I am in the wrong place to write for a bit. I might have to take a break.
I wonder if I suddenly had a wonderful FWB enter my life if that would truly shake me out of the doldrums? Not even sure if my Inspiration showing up nude on my doorstep for a sex filled surprise weekend would do the trick.
Any one else out there feel this way?
Suggestions, before it gets too serious, for any of us?
Sextified
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#46621 - 08/04/10 07:58 PM
Re: Where's my Mojo? or How to fight summer blahs?
[Re: Sextified]
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nadiana223
addict
Registered: 05/16/08
Posts: 661
Loc: United States
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Well,let's see:
We have also experienced budget cuts and layoffs at our company as well. The economy is kicking everybody's ass right now. So, honey and I are saving, saving and more saving. Pinching pennies. More cooking, less dining out.
Mr. T and I are still good friends, despite my wanting to be in a relationship with him. However, I have a feeling that things will work out for both our goods. Honey and I are doing fine. What keeps me afloat is something that Girlie told me when the situation first went down. She said (something to this nature): LOVE CONQUIERS ALL. And I believe that with all my heart.
My temporary celibacy is kicking my ass on all points. I'm having night sweats and sex dreams that are so damn powerful I wake up trembling and gasping. My solution: bought lots and lots of batteries.
When I get down, I always remember: God is in control of it all. :-) And I don't worry, but I pray and I keep on living. Becasue I have clothes, food, and shelter. And a job. Some people are lacking that. I consider myself blessed.
_________________________
It was not into my ear you whispered but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed but my soul
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#46624 - 08/05/10 02:35 AM
Re: Where's my Mojo? or How to fight summer blah
[Re: Rock]
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Sextified
enthusiast
Registered: 08/18/08
Posts: 367
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I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep this morning so I decided to work on the house all day.
Four hours of good quality sleep is better than ten of tossing and turning. The heat here is so bad the air conditioners are up against their theoretical limits to keep my place cool. Too old and too little tonnage to keep pace.
So I cleaned up the whole place first. Then I emptied out every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen and bathroom. I tossed, organized or marked for donation everything there.
It was virtually the last thing on my effort to right size for the economy.
Amazing how good it feels to not have storage units anymore. Everything was donated by driving truckloads to family, friends and the Salvation Army.
Even the Porsche has had money thrown at it and it's trip worthy again. Well, trip worthy in the sense it has no air or heat, and the trip had better be with the top down at night to the ice cream store!
Of course right after I did that last week, an unplanned set of repairs on the big truck wiped out another $700 bucks out of my almost exhausted savings.
Work has me slammed tonight. Looking forward to vacuuming in the morning and then crashing all day. Two days of being lazy, feeling ill and depressed, having very strange intense dreams, left me worse off by the end of the weekend.
Usually the best thing to do is take a deep breath, do the minimum required until you catch your second wind, then hit whatever is bothering your piece of mind as hard of a lick as you can muster.
Then rinse and repeat.
It's an odd sort of rhythm that life takes sometimes . . . and the best thing to do is not to fight against it or give up . . . and if you can manage to do that usually things turn out for the best.
Sextified
Edited by Sextified (08/05/10 03:03 AM)
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#46628 - 08/05/10 11:09 AM
Re: Where's my Mojo? or How to fight summer blahs?
[Re: Sextified]
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Hunterguy
member
Registered: 01/21/09
Posts: 166
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Sextified,
You have raised so many good points, I wonder if my response should be private rather than public, as I am not sure that this forum is the place to discuss such intricate issues. But then from what I gather, almost anything goes here, so I will share some of my views.
The difference between you and many others is that most will never admit that they have experieinced any level of depression, or they simply don't recognize it. So many things going on in the world that could bring us down, my solution is often turn off the fucking news, and only read what matters to me from the papers/websites. I am not saying that putting your head in the sand is the thing to do, but rather than looking at all of the world's problems turn your attention locally, and focus on things that you can do to influence a new attitude, things that might bring your mojo back.
The bullshit that happens in the world beyond our immediate control can alter one's senses, if you let it that is. Sure there is a lot of social upheaval, political unrest, poor economic times, not to mention the natural disasters happening around us in stagering numbers. When times are tough we have to dig deep to find something that triggers a reversal of our negative feelings, a naked woman showing up on a guys door step would give you some quick gratification, but then what?
From what you are saying you are doing everything -- or near everything -- one should be doing, keeping busy is good. I can honestly say that one of the things that puts me in a good mood is doing something good for some one else, without ever expecting anything in return. We can't change the world for eveyone overnight, but we might be able to change the world for one, and the positive affect that will have on you is amazing. Liek "Pay it forward".
I am not on your side of the border, so I don't know what the economy is really like south of the 49th. I read, I watch and listen, but I also know that the people telling those stories are spinning it to catch my attention, sometimes hard to determine the facts.
I know things are bad here too, but probably no where close to what is beeing felt in parts of the US.
What I do know; the economy of me and my wife took a big hit last year, our household GDP shrunk by nearly 65%, the hazzards of being in sales and self employed. We survived our financial crisis because of what Nadia mentioned, repeatedly. This year things are much better, but not without exerting great effort, closing in on normal, but the hell of it is I have almost two years to make up in one.
I know people who have faired better, but also know there is an even greater number that faired worse, yet it is hard to take comfort in that.
I could get into a long winded rant on the topic of Finance, mortgages, the economy, and social values but I doubt this is the place for it. Nonetheless, we should all take an interest in what happened, in what created this mess, this crisis. And once you become informed, do everything in your power to prevent it from happening again. There are two books that I have read that should be required reading for every citizen. One deals with what happened, and the other what we as individuals can do to prevent it from happening again. One was written post financial crisis, and the other pre-financial crisis, but as I said both should be required reading.
I think I should step down now, and end my little rant.
Thanks for your tolerance.
HG
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#46631 - 08/06/10 03:26 AM
Re: Where's my Mojo? or How to fight summer blah
[Re: Girlie1980]
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Sextified
enthusiast
Registered: 08/18/08
Posts: 367
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Good points and info so far by everyone.
I had all my savings and 401k wiped out starting about six years ago. It was an agonizingly slow and painful process trying to solve a family member's estate problem.
As is usual when dealing with greedy evil people, on all sides including the lawyers, no one wins.
Even the lawyers got screwed it was so bad!
That said, my industry is changing. Again. I have worked in printing, newspapers and advertising all my life. Technology constantly remakes the landscape.
What was once a skilled hands on craft has slowly evolved. I was a paste up artist, layout artist, typesetter, cameraman, film stripper, proofer, platemaker, colorist, scanner operator, graphic artist, editor, photographer, manager and grunt.
So many skills I have mastered, and been paid to teach others, have hit an evolutionary dead end. I have luckily managed to spend the last thirty years riding the wave of changes.
But it's often disturbing and depressing having so many hard won skills made
obsolete.
But the quality and speed of the tech advances creates some beautiful work so easily. And often, crap on demand.
911 changed our little sector forever. The times since then have been interesting as everyone tried reshuffling. In my area perhaps half of the shops have closed, and every single one of those that didn't prepare to upgrade or right size their staff to be able to compete.
My department went from 14 to 6 people.
For me personally, I plan to ride out this until the end, or until I can write for a living full time.
Creativity will always have a well paying place where ever it occurs in society. There are no guarauntees though. Rock could get a well paying gig tomorrow. How long that ride will last, and the interval until the next job, no one can predict.
But I like what I do, and after years struggling in college, I am very blessed that I enjoy my job. Even if, or maybe because it's a pain in the ass more often than not! 
On the relationship front, I have been dating the same woman for the last eight years. It's totally on hold right now, and is better described as a neighborly friendship. Without the benefits.
I will not go so far as to say it has been a waste. I refuse to try and rethink, relabel or regret my past that way. Nothing is worth tinkering with your head at the risk of losing what those experiences have created inside of you.
Better to deal with it and move on.
My 'Inspiration' is trying to do that right now. Unfortunately I haven't heard a peep from her in months. I'm ok with that. Now.
I am thinking about contacting an old friend that I broke off all contact with before I started dating my Current/Ex girlfriend. I was WAY too open and honest at the start eight years ago.
I didn't force the balance that I personally need in a relationship for me to be truly happy. And I've been paying for it ever since.
My 'Old Inspiration' and I were just friends, but it could have VERY easily been the bounceback relationship I needed after my divorce.
I regret that I chose to lose my friend and confidant. They are hard enough to find. Her openess and honesty helped keep me sane and balanced. Hardly a fair trade for the replacement I have tried to make do with.
They are both honest women, but my GF will NEVER open up about the parts of her past that have helped stall us so badly.
I am beginning to look for my old friend so I can try to apologize for how abruptly our friendship ended. She was moving away to get her Masters degree anyway, but I should have been there and kept the lines of communication open.
Whether I find her or not, I think I need to make the effort, for my own piece of mind.
My Old Inspiration wasn't as judgemental, or possibly as insecure as my GF, and would have allowed the friendship to have continued if thier situations were reversed.
But thanks for everyones comments and concerns.
I had hit a block, or a caution sign on Book II, and that added worry made a normal little dip a bit deeper than I had expected.
It will all get processed thru writing soon . . . and hopefully both me . . . and the next few chapters will be better for it.
If I find my friend I'll post back here to let everyone know.
Thanks!
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