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#46348 - 07/03/10 08:52 PM Never Argue with a Woman
Girlie1980 Girlie1980 veteran Registered: 09/23/09 Posts: 1320	One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment.. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
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#46349 - 07/03/10 10:40 PM Re: Never Argue with a Woman [Re: Girlie1980]
Lee_R Lee_R veteran Registered: 02/02/08 Posts: 1283 Loc: NY, USA	Ha ha ha! I like that one!! _________________________ You can kiss me but I doubt that I'll turn into a prince unless you have an active imagination!
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#46350 - 07/04/10 12:14 AM Re: Never Argue with a Woman [Re: Lee_R]
nadiana223 nadiana223 addict Registered: 05/16/08 Posts: 661 Loc: United States	I LOVE that one!! LOL _________________________ It was not into my ear you whispered but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed but my soul
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#46352 - 07/04/10 12:10 PM Re: Never Argue with a Woman [Re: nadiana223]
AntEater AntEater Pooh-Bah Registered: 02/06/08 Posts: 1898 Loc: UK	There is always this version: Subject: FW: Worth thinking about Peter Cosgrove interview For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!" General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? GENERAL COSGROVE: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers. GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended. which is sadly also fictitious. _________________________ Anteater, or thanks to CG "Monsieur Manger de Tante" $\:D$
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#46359 - 07/04/10 05:19 PM Re: Never Argue with a Woman [Re: AntEater]
Bitemeplease Bitemeplease journeyman Registered: 05/23/10 Posts: 72 Loc: UK	Under the same title: The CIA were recruiting for a new assassin and after rigerous vetting they got down to the final 3, 2 men and 1 woman. They were led to a corridor with 3 doors. The handler turned to the firsst man and held out a gun to him. "Inside the first room is your wife. Take this gun and go in there and kill her." the man looked shocked. "I-I can't. It's my wife, I can't I love her!" "I'm afraid you're not the man for us." the handler said. "Please take your wife and leave." He then turned to the other man and held out the gun and said. "Inside the middle room is your wife. Take this gun and go in there and kill her." The second man took a deep breath, took the gun and entered the room. After 10-15 minutes of silence, he emerged with tears rolling down his face. He shook his head and handed the gun back. "I - I can't. I tried but I can't." He sobbed. The handler took the gun back and said. "I'm afraid you're not the man for us. Please take your wife and leave." He then turned to the woman and pointed to the final door. "Through that door is your husband...." "Yeah, yeah I get it." She said taking the gun from him and marching into the room slamming the door behind her. Almost there was a gunshot. Quickly followed by several more, then there was a couple of minutes of silence then a massive cacophony of noise banging and screaming - this went on for about 15-20 minutes then silence. The woman pushed open the door breathing heavily, pushing the hair from her eyes. She threw the gun at the handler. "Here." She said. "Stupid thing was loaded with blanks so i had to beat him to death with a chair." Moral of the story? Woman are evil! Or alternatively - If you want a job doing properly get a woman to do it!! Bite xx _________________________ You know you want to bite it - so bite it already!
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