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#45689 - 04/22/10 01:40 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Hunterguy]
Girlie1980 Girlie1980 veteran Registered: 09/23/09 Posts: 1321	I would not call that an even split. I see some people saying it is MORE DIFFICULT to do it one way or another, but not that it can't be done well. I am very excited to read your story. I think it is a great idea! You should stick with the plan.
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#45690 - 04/22/10 02:58 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Girlie1980]
Hunterguy Hunterguy member Registered: 01/21/09 Posts: 166	Originally Posted By: Girlie1980 I would not call that an even split. Well I did put a Laughy face behind my Damn it! Kinda of said that with tongue in cheek. Originally Posted By: Girlie1980 I see some people saying it is MORE DIFFICULT to do it one way or another, but not that it can't be done well. I am very excited to read your story. I think it is a great idea! You should stick with the plan. I agree, about sticking to the plan. But I do welcome everyone's opinion. Girlie, you have mail. $\:\/$ HG
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#45691 - 04/22/10 06:00 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Hunterguy]
Anonymous Anonymous Unregistered	Hunterguy Any story should have as much dialogue as is necessary and natural; no more, no less . There is no such thing as too little or too much dialogue but every word of every sentence should be there for a purpose. If on reading your story you feel that the plot, characters or ambience may be better developed by the inclusion of more dialogue then you should look at when, where, how and why conversation may improve the readers' experience. But don't just include more dialogue for the sake of it. The 1st vs 3rd POV narration is a complete red herring. It is as easy to include dialogue in a 1st person narration as it is in a 3rd person narration and despite what Charm Bright claims it is equally simple for a 1st person POV narration to deal with the emotions and thoughts of other characters surrounding the central character. 3rd person narration is ideal for stories where the plot is the most important aspect of the tale. If you want to explore the nuances of character stick with 1st person POV. There, I think that has evened up the split a little.
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#45692 - 04/22/10 08:04 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Anonymous]
Girlie1980 Girlie1980 veteran Registered: 09/23/09 Posts: 1321	Yeah. That. ---- And now that I've read it, I think it had the right amount of dialogue.
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#45696 - 04/23/10 06:35 AM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Hunterguy]
CharmBrights CharmBrights old hand Registered: 09/20/02 Posts: 879 Loc: Tirphil	Originally Posted By: Jake ... The restriction of 1st person works for some things, ... Originally Posted By: Hunterguy ... I wanted ot keep the thoughts of the female character from the audience at this time. The purpose being a touch of suspense. ... These two comments are ones with which I agree entirely. First person is, if you think about it, ideal for whodunit stories where the reader only sees, hears and knows what the detective can (red herrings and all). There it makes perfect sense. In erotica, particularly the darker elements, where there is a level of domination involved, then the reader generally needs to know what both parties are thinking in order to appreciate the full excitement of the situation. _________________________ News of ALL my novels on charmbrights.webs.com/novels.htm.
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#45705 - 04/23/10 01:37 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: CharmBrights]
Hunterguy Hunterguy member Registered: 01/21/09 Posts: 166	Originally Posted By: CharmBrights Originally Posted By: Jake ... The restriction of 1st person works for some things, ... Originally Posted By: Hunterguy ... I wanted ot keep the thoughts of the female character from the audience at this time. The purpose being a touch of suspense. ... These two comments are ones with which I agree entirely. First person is, if you think about it, ideal for whodunit stories where the reader only sees, hears and knows what the detective can (red herrings and all). There it makes perfect sense. In erotica, particularly the darker elements, where there is a level of domination involved, then the reader generally needs to know what both parties are thinking in order to appreciate the full excitement of the situation. Charmbrights as usual your comments are well received. This is why I came to the forum for opinions. And the views and comments shared by Annonymous, are very worth while also. This is the kind of discussion that is meaningful, and I suspect, helps other aspiring author's as much as myself. Given that the male is oblivious to his partner's objectives, I felt it would be best to keep the audience in the dark, as well. If the audience knew what she was thinking, in my opinion it would take something away from his naivity. There is a wee bit of editing that I plan to do on the first edition before it is ready for release. I think this discsussion would even be better if the story was released for the participants in this thread to read. Then the discussion would have more relevancy. When I do get around to writing the female's POV and the follow up chapter, I will come back here and ask to carry on. Best regards and thanks for the feed back. HG
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#45708 - 04/27/10 04:41 AM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Hunterguy]
Sextified Sextified enthusiast Registered: 08/18/08 Posts: 367	HunterGuy, One thing I find very helpful if you are planning to do a POV switch is to foreshadow a great deal more than normal. Have your male character guess 'in his head' what the female is thinking. Have him ponder her motivations and reactions to certain sex acts. The more he tries to figure out the unusual behavior he is facing the stronger the ties between the two chapters. I personally 'flip' back and forth with most of my major characters in the same scenes. Minor characters are handled differently, usually. I have a dividing line between changes of view points. Sometimes I am in the omniscient storyteller mode, then I line break for a personal private reaction, then break right back. It's a bit complicated, but it's a style I hope to continually refine and perfect. From what I have read of your story I would love to see the 'flailing around' of the main male character expanded. The female could then observe his fumblings in a very intense way when we see thru her eyes. She has apparently planned this . . . and with a few minor stumbles . . . has managed to easily stay one step ahead of him. I'd love to observe her thoughts on how parts of her plan is more difficult to justify to herself. Within her own mind she could 'break character' but never show him her misgivings. That would never do! $;\)$ At least until the storyline calms for it. I really enjoyed your story and am looking forward to both the changes you discussed and the second chapter. I find the more 'layering', tie ins, and fore shadowing I do the more depth their is for the readers. Most of my audience knows that a lot more is going on behind the scenes than I could possibly ever show. But because of the glimpses they do see they feel a part of something much larger. Looking forward to reading it in it's final version! Sextified Edited by Sextified (04/27/10 04:43 AM)
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