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#45659 - 04/20/10 01:53 PM Dialogue in a Erotic Story
Hunterguy Hunterguy member Registered: 01/21/09 Posts: 166	I am wondering what some of you experieinced authors may think about this topic. Most of my stories have a fair bit of dialogue, which I believe that helps to keep them entertaining. However, I have on occasion fell into the trap of rambling off the naration to the extent that the story reads a little like a grocery list. Of course I think that I have learnt how to avoid that, nonetheless I have a new story that I am mostly satisfied with, ready to post to the general site, however the story contains very little dialoge. Told in the first persons POV, I have shared several of the thoughts of the main charachter, but there is little communication between the 2 main charachters. The majority of the story is a sex scene, with a tease and denial twist. I think it comes off ok without Dialogue but I was wondering what authors think of that as a general rule when writing. HG Edited by Hunterguy (04/20/10 01:56 PM)
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#45660 - 04/20/10 03:01 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Hunterguy]
Girlie1980 Girlie1980 veteran Registered: 09/23/09 Posts: 1321	Little communication? Or little verbal communication? If a good story doesn't have dialogue, I wouldn't miss it. I am much more of a physical communicator than a verbal one. Not that I don't love dirty talk, but rather that for me a lot of talk happens nonverbally.
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#45661 - 04/20/10 03:11 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Girlie1980]
Hunterguy Hunterguy member Registered: 01/21/09 Posts: 166	Originally Posted By: Girlie1980 Or little verbal communication? Yes little "verbal" communication explains it better. I am happy to hear that my view on this matter is shared. Thanks for your in put Girlie. HG
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#45663 - 04/20/10 08:03 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Hunterguy]
Sextified Sextified enthusiast Registered: 08/18/08 Posts: 367	Hunterguy, A few of my scenes have the main character observing and silently commenting on their lover's reactions. As an example, if one sexual partner is gagged, then you have to allow for the reader's insights to come across another way. Often I will have the person in charge pause, letting their partner squirm for a moment. When they describe in detail the physical reactions they can see that is every bit as good, if not better, than boring routine verbage. So in my mind there is nothing wrong with limited dialogue. As long as it furthers the story, the readers are still engaged and clear on the action, and it fits the authors purpose. Sextified PS - Also I have had one or two very long scenes with absolutely no talking. I simply switched the POV from one partner to the other. I have one planned scene coming up where the action takes place in a closet at a party. No noise was allowed whatsoever or they would have been discovered. Edited by Sextified (04/20/10 08:06 PM)
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#45671 - 04/21/10 09:20 AM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Sextified]
Hunterguy Hunterguy member Registered: 01/21/09 Posts: 166	Thanks for your comments Sextified. Perhaps you touched on something that I have neglected, and I knew that I had as I wrote. I wrote strictly from one persons POV. I have read and re-read my story several times, and myself I find that it reads fine, and is easy enough to follow. Maybe with just the one POV, the story is not as interesting as I wanted it to be, hence the reason I started this thread. Would either of you or Girlie mind giving the story a read for me before I post it? HG Edited by Hunterguy (04/21/10 09:22 AM)
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#45675 - 04/21/10 11:46 AM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Hunterguy]
Sextified Sextified enthusiast Registered: 08/18/08 Posts: 367	Hunterguy, Sure, no problem. I'm writing Ch. 13 of the second book and could use a break at some point. Sextified
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#45677 - 04/21/10 12:42 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Hunterguy]
CharmBrights CharmBrights old hand Registered: 09/20/02 Posts: 879 Loc: Tirphil	Originally Posted By: Hunterguy ... Told in the first persons POV, I have shared several of the thoughts of the main charachter, but there is little communication between the 2 main charachters. ... This is a problem I avoid by using third person omniscient, so that the thoughts of all characters can be passed on to the reader where necessary. Consider the two following versions: One: I looked at her and asked quietly, "Would you like to have dinner with me one evening?" She replied, "Perhaps." That gave me a considerable boost. Two: He looked at her and asked quietly, "Would you like to have dinner with me one evening?" She replied cautiously, "Perhaps," while thinking, 'No chance.' Misinterpreting this gave him a considerable, but unjustified boost. As you can see, it is quite impossible in first person to give any real indication of 'her' state of mind, or that she is essentially lying, because 'he' misinterprets her spoken words. _________________________ News of ALL my novels on charmbrights.webs.com/novels.htm.
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#45683 - 04/21/10 10:26 PM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: CharmBrights]
Girlie1980 Girlie1980 veteran Registered: 09/23/09 Posts: 1321	Sure. I'd love to.
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#45685 - 04/22/10 08:58 AM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: Girlie1980]
Jake Jake addict Registered: 02/27/01 Posts: 592 Loc: Northeastern US	So many people break the 1st person POV wall on here, which yanks me right out of a story. The restriction of 1st person works for some things, but if you really want to share what's going on all around, you need to go 3rd person omniscient. I like to write dialog, but a well-written story doesn't have to have a ton of it. _________________________ Website: Jake's Wonderland Twitter: JakeMarlowWrtr
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#45687 - 04/22/10 11:17 AM Re: Dialogue in a Erotic Story [Re: CharmBrights]
Hunterguy Hunterguy member Registered: 01/21/09 Posts: 166	Well how about that, an even split from repsondents. Damn it! $\:D$ Charmbrights, and Jake, I get your point, and I had considered going that way when I started the story. While the story may be more interestingly developed using the the 3rd person omniscient, I wanted ot keep the thoughts of the female character from the audience at this time. The purpose being a touch of suspense. The female character is leading the male down a path towards femdom. He is totally unaware of it, yet is frustrated and intensley aroused at the same time. In following chapters she will reveal that she wanted him to crave her sexual antics, before attempting to fully dominate him. I wanted to write the story over from the female's POV. The follow up chapters would then be from the 3rd person omniscient. With my limited experience, I am not sure if this appraoch is resaonable, from the POV of the audience that is? What do you think? Regards, HG
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