#44584 - 01/08/10 11:02 AM
Re: Need an Editor
[Re: aldenbradley]
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Anonymous
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My last posted story had the same comment by two different readers. "Too many commas."
I need an editor.
Volunteers can contact me here or at my email: aldenbradley@hotmail.com.
Thanks,
As Girlie noted, you actually need a Proof Reader. But commas are that hard to master. A few too many or a few too few have little impact. That said if you have too many breaks by way of a comma, then you break the reader's chain of thought and have them stopping and going "What?". Run on sentences can be just as bad, but many people have the instinctive ability to recognize where a comma shoudl be and their mind processes that as they read. A few run on sentences willnot affect your score, but it can be distracting to the reader just the same.
As a guide, proof read your own work a few days apart from writing it, you will recognize more of your structure and grammatical errors when your mind is fresh. When you read if you take a pause, add a comma there, if you take a pause and a breath; add a semi colon. ;-)
When you read your own work it should have a natural flow. If a comma causes you to have to think about what you wrote it is likely in the wrong place. Or if you read a run on sentence and find that you have to read it again to make sense of it, then there is likely a comma missing. Word processors do not provide a fool proof proof read.
Like Sextififed I have found other authors who I read and enjoy to act as a sounding board and/or proof reader. Best to try and learn from their help as fast as you can, because proof reading can be time consuming, you will be expected to do something back for your new Pen Pal.
Cheers,
James
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#44658 - 01/11/10 02:29 PM
Re: Need an Editor
[Re: Anonymous]
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Girlie1980
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Registered: 09/23/09
Posts: 1321
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Alden, I read your latest story. I see what it is that is bothering some people. But technically, you are using commas correctly.
An example: "Hi," he said. This is how you do it, and this is correct.
Another example: "Hi" he said. This is the incorrect way that most people do it.
It is kinda like using your turn signal while driving in NYC. It is what you are supposed to do, but nobody actually does it. So, if someone does, it feels off to people who aren't used to it.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I don't think you need a proofreader or editor, really. You just need to change that semicolon in paragraph 9 to a comma. And in one place you have "orgasms" where it should be "orgasm", in one place "released" where it should be "release", and in one place "is" where it should be "it". (And I know that in this paragraph I used commas "incorrectly" by putting them outside the quotes, but it is my personal preference and the way the world is moving. The rules are on the verge of changing.)
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