THE SEASON
1. Why is the UK Boxing Day (26th Dec) so named? Is it because:
a. it is the day we traditionally flatten out large cardboard boxes that once contained electronic gadgets so that they will fit in the dustbin;
b. it is the day we try to retrieve the flattened-out boxes from the bin to look for an important T-shaped flange which may be in one of them;
c. it was traditionally the day when bare-knuckle fights took place all over Britain, and sometimes still do, or
d. it is a corruption of the French expression beaux singes, because in the 18th-century French ladies of the court used to dress up their pet monkeys in their finest outfits, on the day after Christmas, and drive round in their carriages to call on their friends and show them off?
2. December 26 is the Feast of St Stephen. What saint is associated with December 27? Is it:
a. St Lieu. the fourth-century Belgian friar who is credited with founding “the day off in lieu”; or
b. St Normal, the extremely well-organised 12th-century Polish priest whose shrine is visited on December 27 in a tradition known as “getting back to Normal”; or
c. St Conner, the patron saint of disastrous journeys whose Pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella took 68 years, even though he lived only seven miles away?
THE MILLENNIUM
3. Who was recently named Puppet of the Millennium? Was it:
a. Pinocchio;
b. Basil Brush, the suave and worldly fox;
c. Dougal of The Magic Roundabout;
d. Looby Loo, Andy Pandy’s weird girlfriend; or
e. Vidkun Quisling, who was made puppet Minister-President of Norway after the German invasion of 1940?
4. Which of these products was named Condiment of the Millennium in a recent poll? Was it:
a. pickled comfrey;
b. fuzzy green mould;
c. Daddie’s Sauce;
d. turnip vinegar; or
e. Branston Pickle?
5. Name three of the Top Ten Road Signs of the Millennium.
6. Phidippides, the man who ran to Athens to give the news of the Greek victory at the Battle of Marathon, was disqualified as Sports Personality of the Millennium because of a false start – the battle took place in 490 BC. Can you name the Sports Personality of 1589? Was it:
a. Sir Francis Drake, the “Mr. Cool” of bowls;
b. Simon Twink, colourful bear-baiter and philanderer; or:
c. Ned Burbage, sensitive maestro of the pig’s bladder?
THE ARTS
15. In charades, what is the gesture to indicate:
a. “rhymes with”;
b. “Forget all previous mimes, I overestimated your intelligence and I am going to have to start all over again”; and
c. “I cannot believe you could be so stupid and I am going to kill myself”?
16. Compose the titles of fifteen James Bond films by re-arranging a few of the following words:
Forever, Darling, Lovely, Gun, Tomorrow, My, Enough, Desire, Gold, Carry On Up, Dawn, Death, Sometimes, The, Will, Sunset, Harm, Back, Another, Bang, Is.
17. In what year did Jane Austen win the Lifetime Achievement Award at the British Academy of Film and Television Arts?
WALKIES
You suggest that everybody should go for a good bracing walk together to blow away those cobwebs. Then each person has to speak for precisely 60 seconds, giving convincing reasons why he or she should not join the others on this walk, without using the words “knee” or “snuffly cold” or “paperwork to catch up on” or “no wellies my size”.
SCIENCE
18. What is Phenylephrine? Is it:
a. an ingredient of Lemsip;
b. the chemical in the sap of Christmas trees which causes unsightly rashes; or
c. the name of the baby daughter born to Hugh and Mandy, as recorded in the traditional round robin Christmas letter from the Robinsons in Cirencester?
19. What is the name of the poisonous gas given off by cooked sprouts after 24 hours?
GEOGRAPHY
20. What is “Los Palmettos”? Is it:
a. the name of the holiday resort village in Spain featured in the brochure that has just arrived;
b. the name of the Mexican family that came to stay with you for Christmas when their car broke down at the end of the street; or
c. the address in Taiwan where you have to send your new DVD player when it breaks down later today?
TRUE OR FALSE?
21. “It’s the Robinsons of Cirencester! What a lovely surprise!”
22. “I don’t know what the weather is like in your neck of the woods, but hereabouts it’s just chucking it down – sleet, hail and snow. And there’s a fog so thick that you can’t see your hand in front of your face and we’ve just heard on the radio that the M25 has been washed away. I’m afraid there is no chance of making it to you today. We are so disappointed.”
23. “Cold turkey. My favourite.”
24. “We regard December 29th, when we come to you, as our real Christmas.”
HISTORY
7. Who is known as “the Father of the 14-Day Bumper Issue TV Listings Guide” and
in what grisly way did he die?
8. In 2009, who
a. taped over the third episode of repeat series of The Sopranos;
b. left the oven on for three days;
c. promised to stop criticising other people’s parking;
d. made coarse and offensive remarks about someone’s Barbie doll;
e. neglected the stick insects so that they died;
f. sulked for a world record-breaking eight days in May; and
g. went completely over the top about somebody daring to touch his precious computer which he seems to care about more than anybody in the wide world, suggesting that he must be an extraordinarily inadequate and insecure sort of person?
9. What was the place of origin of the most unpleasant flu epidemic of 2009? Was it:
a. Taiwan;
b. Vladivostok;
c. Macao; or
d. the Robinsons of Cirencester?
10. Was the main symptom of this flu strain convulsive shivering or throwing up?
11. The prophecies of Nostradamus originally appeared in the Christmas issue of the Toulouse Express and Journal of 1548 entitled “My Predictions for 1549”. Can you name:
a. the compiler of the Jumbo Crossword in the same issue; and
b. the engraver responsible for “A look back on 1548 in pictures”?
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
12. How many generals do you know:
a. intimately;
b. on first name terms;
c. to nod to in Waitrose/Wal-Mart?
THE STARS
13. Predict where the following astrologers will be at 3.47am on March 11, 2000:
a. Madame Zubowski;
b. Sebastian de la Plonque;
c. Rex King;
d. The Lady in the Silver Mask.
14. It is generally understood that Sagittarians are no good at growing roses. Match the following human qualities with the given star signs.
No sense of direction; a tendency to say “sort of” all the time; an inability to wear hats; self-consciousness about ears; tiresome pedantry.
Taurus; Cancer; Pisces; Gemini; Leo.
GAMES
Here are some games for all the family to play over the holiday season:
FRUITS
Each person eats a fruit and the person next to them, by studying the expression on their face, has to identify the tooth in which they have a cavity.
HUNTING
See which member of the family can find the greatest number of those polystyrene worms used for packing fragile and electronic presents.
SMELLS
Pass round a succession of perfumed soaps and shower gels and ask them to identify the flower each one is supposed to be made of.
MASTERCHEF
This is a pencil and paper game. See how many television chefs’ names you can think of, using the letters from the words “gastro-enteritis”. “Montezuma’s revenge” and “flatulence”.
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