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Huntergirl,
Since my project is so large, I deal with this issue all of the time.
I've written 27 chapters with a minimum of one sex scene per chapter. Maybe 35 scenes altogether. The advice given so far has been excellent, and I will use it myself.
When I'm writing these days, the work seems to compartmentalize itself. Many times I purposefully will write the setup leading to the sex scene and stop. After a few days, I'll have thought it out at random times, but not in very specific terms.
Suddenly the mood will hit and I drop everything and write the entire sex actions in one sitting. No matter how long it takes. I'm not worried about grammar, spelling, or accuracy.
What I concentrate is feeling, emotions and intensity.
Since I tend to write from all points of view, male and female, switching back and forth gives the story an opportunity to stretch itself.
Then after a few days I'll reread the scene, from an editor's point of view this time, and clean it up.
Then I reread the entire story about three (or six) more times and polish everything and add tie ins to past/future events.
Occasionally I will notice that I need to add several paragraphs exploring or intensifying a characters experience and reactions. It will just hit me, this character should really be turned on by this, and my writing hadn't captured it yet.
Other times It will be something like - Why the hell was that toy hidden under the pillow? - and that leads to something good that adds to the story.
The best advice I've heard lately is this: If the sex you are writing doesn't excite you - it won't get your readers off either.
Trying to avoid the 'same old routine' can be a pain, but I agree with the other responders.
The characters have their own reasons for doing what they are doing. Explore them. Let them reflect while the action is going on. Have them explain why it feels different this time for them.
"Normal" routine sex isn't something you would normally choose to write about.
If a couple has sex three times a week, twelve times a month, and its mostly 'comfort' sex . . . but one night they go out on the town, get hammered, and come back home and have anal for the first time . . . which of the thirteen sessions are you more likely to write about?
That seems to be the key for me . . . tie the story together . . . then attach the reasons for the sex.
A science fiction writer whom I HATED when I read his work in High School had a template he used for about thirty books. Over and over the same thing for his characters. Awful, awful stuff. Not a spark of originality or intensity in any of it.
One author, on another site, wrote about a husband and wife adding third parties to their sex life. Maybe 18 or so stories. Everything was just carbon copies of each other. Different hair color, smaller tits, wider hips, picked up from different locations - but ALWAYS the same stuff in bed - EVERY single damn time.
The best advice I have I'll restate this way - over time different aspects of writing will be easier and then harder for you. Your human and you will change, so how you create will as well. Write what comes easy and then wait for the other when the mood strikes you.
Forcing it will come across.
If real sex is boring to you at times - you have to spice it up occasionally.
Your relationship with your characters is the same way.
Sex may have to be the same physically - but its how we make it meaningful to ourselves and our partners that makes it special.
In real life or in erotica.
Sextified
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